Something's Gotta Give

This post has nothing to do with the movie that stars Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson and the fabulous house ... I'm talking about me.  I am juggling more than I can handle right now, and something has to be done ... but I am the only one who can decide what that is, and I don't have a clue.

This is an arrangement of containers that I saw and liked at the Anne Spencer garden in Lynchburg.

My To Do list is approaching unmanageable proportions, and the drain on my physical and emotional energy is becoming unbearable.  Today is a particularly bad day ... I am overwhelmed.

Another beautiful sunrise in my front yard.

Our daughter's wedding is 8 weeks away.  There is a lot left to be done, and I hear the clock ticking loudly in my head.  Since the wedding is here at our house and garden, I have to make sure that the grounds and gardens look as good as they can.  After last summer's hot, dry weather, and the attack of the killer weeds, this spring's clean up is taking more effort than usual.  Her wedding ceremony will be in our pavilion, and it will require a few modifications to the structure (that I'll show you later), which has meant two days spent on construction and another day or two yet to be spent on landscaping. 

We're making subtle changes to this area for the wedding ceremony.

Rose season is almost here, and this is my busiest time of the year.  I have baby roses to care for and ready for their new homes, advance orders to process and stage for shipping in May, and plans to make for opening the nursery to visitors next month.  Rose season also means that there are individuals and groups who want to visit the garden.  It will be an almost non-stop parade of people from mid-May and into June.  Everyone who comes wants a personal tour, which I am honored to provide ... but there is only so much of ME to go around.  Add to this the programs that I present to garden clubs and other groups, and a three-day plant sale to prepare for ... I'm sure there's something else that I'm forgetting.

The Rose Tunnel doesn't look anything like this right now.

Even though our Greyhounds Rock fundraiser event is seven months away, those of us who organize it have a crushing workload right now.  My main job is merchandising, and I have been working to plan inventory and make collars for smaller events in April and May where we have a booth to advertise our event and sell our wares, and for our Etsy store.  The Husband is the web master for everything Internet for Greyhounds Rock, so I end up consulting on web site decisions, and every day there is at least one email conversation about something that goes on among all of us organizers.  Above all of this, I have to remember that we do this to raise money for canine cancer research, a cause that is near and dear to all of us, and my efforts may one day be rewarded with real progress.

My friend Kim's dog TJ, our Greyhounds Rock poster dog ... and that's one of my collars that he's wearing.

The pressure of having older pets is weighing heavily on me right now.  Emma is 14, and she is doing really well right now ... thank Heaven.  Kimba, our outdoor cat, is at least 18 and she's slowing down, but she is also healthy.  Amy ... sweet Amy ... will not be with us much longer.  I have to call my vet and talk to her about it.  I can't think about this right now.

My house is a mess!  I have not put any time into controlling the accumulation clutter, so the piles of papers and supplies and tools are everywhere.  I would love to have a place for everything, and I will one day, but I do not have the energy or time to devote to get there right now.  If it wasn't for my cleaning lady, I don't know what I'd do.  Every other Tuesday, she comes and my house sparkles afterward.  In preparation for her arrival, I usually spend a frenzied couple of hours clearing what clutter I can manage and trying to organize what I can.  I have faked myself into believing that every little bit helps.

Here is a photo of our tidied up family room.  You didn't think I was going to show you the mess, did you?

This morning, I was presented with the proverbial straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back ... my Mustang is probably more broken that we thought it was.  Remember when it overheated last fall?  The Husband tried to change the thermostat this weekend, and he thinks there's a crack somewhere, and it won't hold water.  I have to talk to my mechanic this afternoon.  Now that I say this out loud, a broken car is really minor when compared to everything else that's going on ... it's more of a contributing element to a cumulative accumulation of stress.

Why am I sitting here blogging about this instead of taking care of it, you ask?  This morning has become a time of reflection and recharging ... trying to gather my energy for another push toward my goal of reducing my responsibilities and streamlining my life.  I doubt it's going to work.  What I really need to do is say No ... but to what? 

Alice and Dorothy are doing what they can to help.

Thanks for listening and reading this post this far.  I know it's not the usual light-spirited, informative, positive vibe that I try to keep here.  I don't have a lot of positive inside me right now.  I'm tired.

Now that I got this off my chest, I'm going to go outside and work.